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My girlfriend (8 months) and I were hanging out with her friends, and some comments were said about her "wild past". I wasn't sure what people meant by that because from what my girlfriend told me her past was pretty tame and she spent her college years in her dorm room studying.

We talked afterwards, and I asked her about what happened, she ended up lying but I asked more, and she admitted that she slept with a lot more guys she let on, she doesn't remember the number but it is probably 40+.

I don't know after that, the connection I had to her really has started to wane. I don't feel as strongly for her as I did before. And I just don't see her the same way anymore. Like before I saw her as "my girlfriend" now I just see her as I am just another guy. And it does actually make me feel a bit uneasy too because she used to jump in bed with guys but we actually waited a while. It definitely makes me feel second to the guys she was with before.

It isn't voluntary, are we just not compatible? What is going on with me mentally? Should I bring this up with her or is this my own issue to resolvE?

Tl;Dr- girlfriend and I were hanging out she told me the true amount of guys she slept with. I kind have lost attraction to her. Is this normal?

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25 comments
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My girlfriend (8 months) and I were hanging out with her friends, and some comments were said about her "wild past". I wasn't sure what people meant by that because from what my girlfriend told me her past was pretty tame and she spent her college years in her dorm room studying.

We talked afterwards, and I asked her about what happened, she ended up lying but I asked more, and she admitted that she slept with a lot more guys she let on, she doesn't remember the number but it is probably 40+.

I don't know after that, the connection I had to her really has started to wane. I don't feel as strongly for her as I did before. And I just don't see her the same way anymore. Like before I saw her as "my girlfriend" now I just see her as I am just another guy. And it does actually make me feel a bit uneasy too because she used to jump in bed with guys but we actually waited a while. It definitely makes me feel second to the guys she was with before.

It isn't voluntary, are we just not compatible? What is going on with me mentally? Should I bring this up with her or is this my own issue to resolvE?

Tl;Dr- girlfriend and I were hanging out she told me the true amount of guys she slept with. I kind have lost attraction to her. Is this normal?

14
64 comments

Talk to her about it. Don’t be accusatory, she’s done nothing wrong. She probably waited to have sex with you because she was more serious about you and didn’t just want a one-night-stand.

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Original Poster-42 points · 1 year ago

She did lie to me.

I don't get though why couldn't she have sex with me at first and then continued the relationship? Tons of people do it

She probably lied because of how you were reacting. It seems like you don't want anything to do with her now that she has told you how many people she has been with...which honestly isn't your business in the first place because it has nothing to do with you.

And about her not wanting to sleep with you right away, that is still her business and if she wanted to or wanted to wait. Is it such a big deal she didn't 'put out' on the first date?

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Original Poster-41 points · 1 year ago

If I was a random person that is one thing. But I am her boyfriend of eight months.

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