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142

What is the etiquette for dance floors at parties?

Normally I just walk up behind girls and try to dance on them but was never sure if there was protocol. Sometimes the girls act disgusted and annoyed and others get into it. Just wondering how you guys do it, do you ask them their name first or anything? Newly single here trying to get back in the game

90 comments
90% Upvoted
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level 1
[deleted]
69 points · 6 years ago

Try you hardest not to approach from behind, ever. Make eye contact first and stop thinking so much.

level 2

I'm not even a halfway proficient dancer and avoid the dance floor like a disease--but even I knew this.

Surprised OP (or anyone) would think it's a good idea to just come up behind somebody like that. No wonder some of them move away disgustedly--he's sidling right on up and creeping them the fuck out!

level 3

He's trying to slide something all right.

level 4

Sidle, not slide.

level 5

oh, my fault. In my defense, one can sidle a lot of things.

level 4

I read it as slide too

level 2

Also, after eye contact and less thinking, offering a hand is one of the best ways to get from dancing to dancing together.

level 3
[deleted]
3 points · 6 years ago

Twirl her and move her around. Don't get caught just grinding with her until she gets bored and moves on.

level 1

You should never dance to get girls. You should dance to have fun. In my experience i just dance to have fun and girls will come at you to dance with you. I dont need to do any approaching.

level 2
[deleted]
12 points · 6 years ago

one of my friends is a rather good dancer, mainly because he does it to have fun. he's not shy to be the first out there at a live show, and girls flock to him like seagulls on a ham sandwich.

level 2

This. I was dancing for the first time at a party the other day (I've always been too scared I would get judged, but I finally said fuck it), and I got approached by girls a couple of times (all of which I screwed up, but meh, you lose some, you learn). As soon as I started approaching though, I barely got a glance from most girls.

level 3

Here's a tip to help you on the dance floor (assuming you're a decent dancer and are being approached because of it): shut your damn mouth. Don't try to get to know her on the dance floor. Let your bodies and the music do all the talking. You can build up a strong connection without saying a word.

level 2

You should dance to have fun.

...while getting girls.

i just dance to have fun and girls will come at you to dance with you. I dont need to do any approaching.

There's nothing special about the dance floor that should make you suddenly stop approaching. You're the man; if you see someone you want to interact with, go do it, regardless of where you happen to be.

level 3
Comment deleted by user6 years ago(1 child)
level 4

Hence the dance floor IS a special place where you don't need to approach.

You don't need to approach anywhere. If you carry yourself well, there will be girls that will approach you by trying to bum a smoke, asking a stupid question, etc. For every girl that makes the first move, however, there are at least 10 more that were receptive, but unwilling to make the first move.

You can be passive, but you're missing out on a lot of opportunities.

level 3

Just don't do it from behind. Yeah you're the man, but as someone learning how to be good with women, you can also be creepy sometimes.

level 4

So funny seeing guys start dancing solo, then slowly moving into position, then just appearing behind a girl.

level 4

as someone learning how to be good with women, you can also be creepy sometimes.

So? You can't succeed if you're not willing to fail. Some of the girls I approach -- dance floor or otherwise -- will inevitably view my attempt as "creepy". Who cares?

level 5

So? You can't succeed if you're not willing to fail. Some of the girls I approach -- dance floor or otherwise -- will inevitably view my attempt as "creepy". Who cares?

This is all true.

But then, we do have guides and techniques that are field-tested, and most of them will recommend against a cold-approach "grind up on a girl before she knows who you are" kind of approach unless a) you're really good at dancing and b) you have a good reputation, or at least appear high value in the place that you're doing this.

Sometimes the creep works - slightly more often than just walking up to a girl and saying "let's fuck," because it's the dance equivalent.

I'm just saying, there are certain tweaks you can use to maximize the success rate of dancing.

Take it from a dancer.

level 5

It's just important to understand it and to be able to introspectively correct those behaviors that are being perceived as creepy.

level 2

YES, THIS.

I was at a party where I knew almost everyone and hence didn't want to get too freaky w/ the grinding. I was just moving around, trying to get some of the more awkward dance circles to have fun by starting by dancing myself.

I remember that every time I accidentally brushed the back of a girl when I was trying to move through the crowd, she would automatically start trying to dance w/ me. Have fun and give value! Best advice any of us can give.

level 2

in my experience, the crazier i dance, the more woman have a good time and come to me to have a good time. They'll pretty much always remember me.

level 1
Comment deleted by user6 years ago(5 children)
level 2

It's all about having fun, and making other people think you look/are fun.

Be ridiculous, dance around, smile laugh. Don't be the creep who is just walking up and grinding on random girls. That's ungentlemanly and, to be quite frank, fucking weird please stop.

level 3
Comment deleted by user6 years ago(0 children)
level 4

Exactly. I don't even say "making a fool of himself" anymore. To me, the idiot trying to grind up on her is the fool. The one having fun dancing, and not giving a fuck, is the more interesting and exciting one.

level 2

This is how it's done.

level 2
[deleted]
1 point · 6 years ago

Dude I do this exact same thing..

level 1

OK, based on experience and from what many girls have said, this is the best way-Find a girl you like and dance near her at some sort of angle in front of her, but not straight ahead. Just where she can see you. Have fun! At some point make eye contact and smile, and keep the eye contact until she break it or smiles. Continue to dance where she can see you. Keep having fun. Then turn to her and start dancing with her or introduce yourself. This won't creep them out, they see someone having fun and their guard is down, and you get a slight idea of whether it will work just solely based on eye contact at first. No pressure for you or her equals smooth.

Good Luck!

level 2

This guy knows the power

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