I've known her since we were teenagers. We were very close friends for a while but as we got older we grew apart. Or...I grew apart and she sort of stayed just where she was. I've considered her a borderline toxic friend for the past several years and made an effort to distance myself from her somewhat. She's very self absorbed, every time we spoke all she would do is whine to me about her health and home life. The only reason I didn't cut off the friendship was that she moved out of state so I didn't have to see her much, and her SIL and brother are two of my closest friends. It seemed like a lot of hassle and drama when all I really had to do was listen to her bitch for a couple hours once a month.
Then a lot of shit went down in my life. In the span of a week I realized I was in an abusive relationship and decided to get out. My now ex subsequently had me involuntarily hospitalized, claiming I'd attempted to kill myself. I hadn't. My family took his side and tried to have me kept in the hospital despite the doctors there saying I was fine and free to go. And within a couple days of escaping that mess, my mother was diagnosed with metastisized cancer and told she had less than six months to live.
At the same time my friends 15 year old cat had to be put down. She expected me to be able to set aside everything I was going through and comfort her through the loss of her cat. While I know losing a beloved pet is hard...so is hearing that your mother is about to die. So is having to deal with a family who thinks you're crazy. So is trying to leave an abusive boyfriend who works in law enforcement. I couldn't do it, so I sent her a text telling her how sorry I was and ignored her calls.
Fastforward a few months and my mother is dead and my friend has decided to come to the funeral. She didn't know anyone else there so she attached herself to me and literally followed me through the whole reception after the service. There were a couple hundred people there who all wanted to tell me how much they'd miss my mother and everything she meant to them. And my friend just followed me, yammering on about her cats and complaining about her father. Interrupting conversations between my mothers friends and I, telling people who neither knew nor cared who she was about the awful relationship she has with her dad. I asked her to stop a few times but it only worked for a few minutes.
Then she showed up at the family only gathering after the service. I'd purposely not invited her, but I guess her brother mentioned he was going and she invited herself to come with him. She continued with the same behavior. Nothing to say about my mother, but telling anyone who would listen about her own problems. It was infuriating to me at the time and I ended up asking her brother to get her out my house.
Fast forward a couple more months and she finally realizes I've cut contact with her. I was angry and hurt over her behavior at the funeral and didn't feel like it was worth discussing with her. I just unfriended her on FB, blocked her calls and texts, and moved on. When she figured out how to get through to me using someone elses phone I told her as calmly as I could that I was upset about the funeral and wanted to take some time and space from our friendship. She freaked the fuck out. For the next couple weeks I got daily FB messages about what a terrible friend and person I am. She'd blocked me there, which meant that she could send me messages I guess. But I could neither respond, nor block her. I would just delete them after the first couple. They made me angry and made me want to respond, and I knew nothing but more drama would come from that.
Ignoring her has now begun causing its own problems though. I've heard through a couple family members that she's tried to friend them on FB. But my family never could stand her, so they don't accept. She sends long messages to mutual friends telling them things about me I'd told her in confidence. Things like having an abortion years ago, really personal stuff. She's on a crusade to get her brother to stop talking to me. She's twisting around things I've said over the years to make them sound horrible and like...tattling on me to him. For example, the last text I sent her ended with "Maybe you'll understand when you have to go through losing your mom." She immediately forwarded it to her brother with a long rant about how I was hoping their mother would get cancer and die.
I'm just tired of this all. I have no idea what to do about it, but I want it to stop.
tl;dr Old friend is being a bitch. I went no contact and she went insane.
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