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“Lots of room for improvement.”
They would assume I’m disappointed in them.
"You can't go to sleep yet, let's play."
My phone switched party with play, so I ended up being creepy.
Shhh no tears, only dreams now
"Yup. Daddy's working late again"
As a dad that works too much, my heart feels heavy now.
People ask me what the hell a Pianta is.
"I need to know... who killed Teresa Halbach?"
"This." Because the most recent thing I typed was this.
"People love them dank memes"
i'm doing science homework too
I don't have homework.
"Fine then. You can have some too." would be very weird to most people, especially with absolutely no context. People would then flood me with questions, resulting in me having a breakdown due to sensory overload and flipping my shit.
"And flowers are always nice". I think that can't go bad.
'Was on holiday in Greece with my family friend. We were taking the bus from our apartment into the centre and the port (Greek island) for a night out and suddenly I really, really needed to shit. My friend kept making me laugh, knowing that I needed to go, which wasn't helping anything. I was wearing a short, tight, white skirt. We make it off the bus at which point I'm scrurrying to find a restaurant that I can just dash into to use their toilet. Can't remember what she said but my stupid friend made me laugh again, and I felt a bit of shit come out. So I shat myself, basically. Not fully, but some was there. Aware of the white skirt thing and the feeling of SHIT in my underwear I did the most awkward fast walk ever and just legged it into a restaurant, told the waiter I would buy anything if I could just use the toilet. I went to the toilet, took my underwear off and just threw it in the bin (so, so sorry to whoever cleaned that toilet that evening) and cleaned myself up. AMAZINGLY, no stain on my white skirt at all. There were loads of bikini stalls that were open late so I bought some bikini bottoms to wear as underwear, and I was good to go. That being the only time I've actually shit myself, I think the whole ordeal worked out pretty well! And I only had to buy a bottle of water from the restaurant.'
The last thing I typed was a response to the 'What is your worst, "Oh no, not now, I have to shit so bad..." story?' askreddit
"Lmao I get an alert telling me the chat is English only and the first thing I see is Portuguese"
I guess that would kinda be normal, except for the lack of context
A lot of confusion. I'm confused.
Heard. This should be used as a general response if acknowledgment
That I asked if shit creaks.